Mystery Abbey: The Case of the Missing Underbutler
by A-Downtonluvr-To-Me
Summary: There are strange things happening at Downton Abbey. Thomas Barrow has gone missing, and it's up to the crime solving team of John and Anna Bates, Phyllis Baxter, Joe Molesley, and their trusty dog Isis to solve the mystery and find out what happened to him.


**A/N**: This is in response to Terriejane's prompt for a Downton Abbey mystery starring our favorite couple. But Paige and I wanted to have a bit of fun with it. So we thought we'd add a bit of humor with a nod to one of our favorite childhood shows. 10 points to anyone who can guess (don't worry it won't take you long ;)

Hope you all enjoy and please review :)

**Disclaimer**: If the two of us owned Downton it would be a Banna baby making free-for-all. End of story.

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><p>It was a bright fall morning at Downton Abbey and the servant's hall was alive with rumors. When they had received the call from the housekeeper, Mrs. Hughes, the crime solving quartet had been skeptical at first. There had been reports of strange sounds; indecipherable chants and the thumping of drums. All easily explained. Objects that were moved or had gone missing. Possibly a coincidence. But then there was the revelation that the under butler, Thomas Barrow had gone missing. That news from the housekeeper was enough to catch the ears of Anna and John, and they informed their partners in solving mysteries, Joe and Phyllis that they were needed at the Abbey immediately.<p>

Once they had a plan in place, the group made their way over to get first hand accounts from as many servants as possible. When the servants hall cleared out to go about their daily chores the four met up in the hallway.

"We have to figure out what is going on and what happened to Mr. Barrow." Anna spoke up.

"Excuse me," Mrs. Hughes interrupted their conversation, "I was wondering if you would like me to show you all to your rooms?"

"Oh that would be lovely," Phyllis replied with a cheerful smile.

"James will help the ladies with their bags. Normally I would have Thomas help with yours as well," she said with a gesture of the hand to the guys. "But with him having gone missing you'll have to help yourselves."

"Of course," Joe replied.

"The ladies will each get their own room, but I'm afraid the men will have to bunk up together," she replied.

"Wait. What?" John asked.

"We can't put you up in a guest room; we have a party coming through tonight," Mrs. Hughes reasoned. "We have to put you up in the servants quarters and they are separated into two different wings. One for men and one for women."

"Maybe we could stay in a hotel," Anna suggested.

"The nearest hotel is in the village. But it's quite a drive up the road," the elder woman responded quickly.

"I suppose one night apart couldn't hurt," Anna said with a shy smile aimed at her husband.

"I suppose," John muttered in agreement.

Joe quickly changed the subject, "I'll get Isis and we can meet back here after everyone has gone to bed. That seems to be when there is the least disturbance from others in the house."

The footman, James, led the way toward the minivan to grab the bags for the women as Joe followed close behind.

"You'll get Isis and help us? Or you'll get Isis and galavant in the kitchens scrounging for food?" Phyllis shot him a smile, to which Joe turned beet red.

Anna and John just looked each other and rolled their eyes at the pair. When they finally walked away Anna began to giggle. "Do you think they'll ever just get together?" she whispered to him.

"Hmm...perhaps, but right now I'm less concerned with them and more curious as to whether the laundry room is unoccupied." He winked and reached around to grab her behind and gave it a light squeeze.

"Mr. Bates!" she cried with a laugh. Anna lowered her voice when she realized how loud her voice was as it echoed through the corridor, "No one ever died from one night without sex."

"They might have, we don't know why Thomas went missing," he said half teasing.

"You mind yourself, and perhaps later on we'll see if the laundry is open when there aren't so many people around. Now go get settled in your room."

"Yes, Mrs. Bates...whatever you say." He gave her behind one last smack before kissing her soundly and heading up the stairs, leaving her blushing and giggling behind him.

* * *

><p>After sharing dinner with the rest of the staff, the group met up in the same place they'd split off that morning, only now Isis was with them. Their trusty sidekick, so to speak, Isis had a keen nose and was always managing to sniff out the culprits. Plus she was quite the companion to Joe, when Phyllis found herself distracted by analyzing the clues.<p>

Once they were sure they were all alone each of them whipped out a notepad to review what they had found so far. All except Joe, who was nibbling on what was left of his chocolate biscuit. The rest of them simply shook their head and shrugged. Phyllis began to speak first, "It looks as though everyone here had a reason to hate or distrust Mr. Barrow. Anyone of these people could be a suspect."

"Yeah and they don't seem to torn up about his absence," Anna noted.

"He's lucky they even reported him missing," John added.

"John," Anna playfully scolded with a small jab of her elbow to his ribs.

"I'm just sayin," John said with a chuckle as he rubbed at his injured side.

"Well they may have all disliked him but that's no reason to kidnap him. If they could barely tolerate him, how would holding him hostage somewhere benefit any of them?" Joe pointed out.

"But either way, it doesn't explain all the missing items in the house or the noises coming from the attics," Anna said.

"You know Joe, you may have hit the nail on the head. Perhaps instead of focusing on who hated Thomas we should focus on who liked him. That person might have the most information," Phyllis commented.

"Is it likely anyone liked him," John snickered.

"Oh there have been a few that have fallen prey to Thomas's charms," came a voice in a Scottish brogue from behind them. The group turned around to see Mrs. Hughes standing in the doorway. "At one point he was very chummy with one of the Lady's Maids named Mrs. O'Brien."

"How close?" Joe asked.

"Is it possible they were more than friends?" John asked.

"Not likely, Thomas didn't swing that way," Mrs. Hughes revealed.

"Was that a problem for anyone else in the house?" Anna inquired.

"Not that I'm aware of," Mrs. Hughes answered back. "No they were more like accomplices, always out to make themselves look better and do as little work as possible."

"So you think that this Mrs. O'Brien may have been behind this?" Phyllis asked.

"It's possible, but doubtful. She was offered a job in India last year and up and left like a thief in the night," Mrs. Hughes answered back.

"Like Thomas?" John asked.

"No. She was kind enough to leave a note. Plus the family is still in touch with her current employer. They can verify her whereabouts," Mrs. Hughes added.

"Is there anyone else? Anyone else you think might have important information regarding Thomas?" Anna pressed for more information.

Mrs. Hughes took a deep breath as she racked her brain, "I can't think of anyone else at the moment. He'd been rather fond of our footman, James, since he first arrived on our doorstep."

"We spoke to James already, he's still a suspect, but we can't exactly see the harm he would have done to Mr. Barrow," Phyllis stated.

"Well he seemed close to the Lady's maid that came to replace Mrs. O'Brien, errr… Edna was her name. But that didn't last. She's been out of our employment for some time now," Mrs. Hughes said.

"Ah, to ride on the other side of the fence, this Thomas sure did like to befriend the Lady's Maids," John commented. He chuckled to himself when Anna shot him a warning glare.

"Thanks for all your help Mrs. Hughes, if there is anything else you can think of be sure to let us know," Phyllis said with a smile.

The housekeeper saw herself up the stairs to prepare for bed after bidding each of them a good night.

"Alright," John said. "We'll split into our usual teams; Anna and myself will investigate the main floor, Phyllis you take the attics and servant's quarters, and Joe and Isis you can check for clues here in the downstairs rooms." They all nodded in agreement and went about their separate assignments; exchanging smiles and words of good luck as they began the investigation.

When Anna, John, and Phyllis were out of sight Joe turned to Isis with a smile.

"Alright girl, let's go see what these famous Downton kitchens have to offer us, eh?" Rubbing his hands together the two made their way down the hallway with glee.

* * *

><p>"Alright, Mr. Bates, let's start in the library. Mrs. Hughes said that Thomas was up here frequently assisting Lord Grantham and it was the last place he was seen before he disappeared."<p>

Anna was too busy scrutinizing the books on the shelves that she didn't hear John come up behind her, but she certainly felt him when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed himself into her back.

"My my, someone is certainly eager tonight. We're supposed to be investigating. Besides, I only solve crimes, I'm not a Lady's Maid," she said still trying to keep her eyes on the task at hand. But her ability to concentrate was being tested as the hardness of his arousal became more prominent.

"You're not seriously upset with me about that are you? It was all in good fun," John said.

"I just didn't know your fantasies included Lady's Maids using their feather dusters and lace trimmed aprons," Anna remarked.

"Only if it's you dressed as the Lady's Maid," he retorted.

She grinned at his comment. Even when he tried to apologize in a haphazard way she found him adorable. Anna could already feel the muscles nestled between her thighs clench in anticipation. The heat searing from her core, intensifying as his warm breath grazed her cheek with every syllable that rolled off his lips.

"Since when have we ever let that stand in our way?" he murmured into her neck. His hands were already hard at work; teasing her nipples through her blouse, running his fingers through her hair, and letting his rough fingertips graze against her smooth skin. "Plus, if we're going to have to sleep separately I want us to be able to enjoy each other at some point tonight."

"You can't go one night without?" Anna teased him, reaching behind to run her fingers through his hair.

"No, Mrs. Bates...I cannot," John said as he removed her hair tie and let her golden locks come tumbling down.

"One of these days someone is going to catch us." Anna could feel herself beginning to give in to his advances. John turned her around and pressed her against the shelves, practically attacking her neck with his lips and tongue. She moaned and wrapped her arms and legs around him, as he lifted her up off the ground with ease. His musk combined with the risk of being caught was making their little moonlight tryst all the more enticing. She could feel his muscles flex beneath her palms with every fluid motion. John's five o'clock shadow was chaffing her skin as he let his lips roam across her neck, but it felt too good to complain about. "We….should be….looking…..for clues…" Anna whimpered between heated kisses. "You're distracting me….from our work." Her breaths became more labored as she fought the urge to roll her hips against him so that he could sink into her. She bit down on her lip; the need to voice her pleasure was overwhelming.

"God, Anna you are so sexy when you talk about crime solving." John mumbled against the swell of her breasts as Anna tore his shirt open to gain access to his chest hair. John wet his lips with a swipe of his tongue and began suckling at her pert nipples. He wasn't sure if it was the temperature in the room or the heightened desire that she felt in his presence but either way he had every intention of keeping her warm by any means necessary.

They shifted their clothing around to allow them access to one another and it wasn't long before they were joined. Anna knew they were making noise as John drove into her again and again into the shelves behind her and a few books began to fall onto the floor. However she couldn't find it in her to care as John sent her to the very brink of ecstasy. Anna simply grabbed onto her husband's shoulders and enjoyed the ride.

* * *

><p>A little while later a giggly and very satisfied Anna and John emerged from the library and nearly ran headlong into Phyllis as she descended the main staircase.<p>

"Jinkies, you two look a mess!" Phyllis pointed to Anna's disheveled hair and the askewed buttons on John's shirt. The pair both blushed and attempted to right themselves.

"We were just...looking for clues in the library." Anna said quickly.

"Didn't find anything." John raced to add as he smoothed his hair back into place.

"Well that's alright, because I did find something!"

Bless Phyllis and her ability to ignore the obvious.

"I was walking down the servant's hallway when I heard the drumming sound that some of the maids told us they had been hearing."

"Well that's great!" Anna said. "Let's go get Joe and Isis and we'll all head up there together."

"You two stay put, I'll go get them." Phyllis said with a mischievous smile, to which John and Anna could blush further.

When she was out of sight the two fell into each other's arms, their bodies shaking with the laughter of a couple madly in love.

* * *

><p>Phylls shouldn't have been surprised when she descended the servant's stairs and was greeted by the sounds of rummaging in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes, this was Joe and Isis she was dealing with. Sometimes she wondered if their stomachs were just bottomless pits.<p>

She made her way down the hallway knowing they would be too distracted to hear her approaching. Phyllis caught sight of a small toy drum in one of the side rooms and decided to play a little trick on the two pigs. She picked up the drum with a smirk, and stood just out of sight from where she knew they were. Peeking around the corner she saw them helping themselves to anything they could find. Slowly, she began to beat a rhythm on the little drum, progressively making the sound louder and louder until she heard their movements stop. She could practically hear Joe's labored breathing and see his eyes widening in fear. Phyllis really had to bite down on her lip hard to keep from laughing and giving away her secret. Then she heard the shuffling of frantic feet, and heard Joe's voice ring out through the air.

"Isis! Let's get out of here!"

The two took off running right towards her, and she jumped into their path when she knew they were close. Joe screamed and Isis was barking loudly, but Phyllis nearly doubled over she was laughing so hard.

"Phyllis!" Joe cried out, clutching his chest. "That was not funny!"

"Oh, I beg to differ," she cried with laughter, before remembering why she was down here and calming herself. "You deserved to be scared; down here stuffing your faces while you're supposed to be looking for clues. You know better than that, Joe."

He had the tact to look shamefaced. "Although I suppose me catching you eating is better than those other two upstairs…" Phyllis mumbled, mostly to herself.

"What?" Joe was following behind her as they made their way up the stairs with Isis on their tail.

"Oh nothing..nothing."

* * *

><p>The group met up at long last at the base of the grand staircase to make their way up towards the attics. Phyllis quietly explained what she'd heard when she'd been investigating, including all the reported strange sounds and she'd even come across a dusty place on a table where there used to be a lamp. Another stolen item.<p>

They were all walking on tiptoes trying to keep from waking anyone, when they finally reached the stairs that led to the mysterious attic. Then suddenly a loud crash caused them all to jump out of their skin. Anna clung to John, who held her tightly in return and Phyllis made her way into Joe's arms somehow.

"There's definitely someone up there." John said quietly.

Isis moaned and cowered behind the group, and Anna looked down at her.

"Oh come on, Isis. You're supposed to be the brave warrior. Now lead the way." Anna whispered.

Isis moaned, but walked out in front of them, looking back to make sure they were all behind her.

When they made it to the top, there were two separate entrances to the different parts of the attic. They should have known with how big the house was that exploring such an expanse would not be easy. John and Anna took one door, while Phyllis, Joe, and Isis took the other; all of them agreeing to try to meet up somewhere in the middle.

The attics were full and massive. It was going to be quite the task to locate whoever was causing such a fuss up there, but the group took it in stride. Flashlights on, they explored every possible nook and cranny that they could find.

Phyllis had taken off to one side of the room leaving Joe to himself as Isis sniffed out around him. Suddenly Isis' ears shot up and her nose seemed to catch some sort of scent.

"What is it girl?" Joe whispered as he followed her, hot on the trail. He was so caught up in watching the dog that he didn't see the large box that was in his path, or the racks of clothes in front of him. He stumbled right over the box, and fell into the racks causing them to fall all around him and Isis.

"Dammit!" A voice called out, but Joe froze when he realized that it was a female voice that was neither Phyllis nor Anna's. He threw the clothes aside and came face to face with a woman he'd never seen before.

"Who are you?" He cried out.

"I could say the same about you. Get the hell off of me!" she snapped in an effort to free herself.

Joe shifted away from the woman, but froze when he turned and saw a man tied up and gagged in the corner. It had to be Thomas. He shot back around and just barely managed to tackle the woman to the ground as she tried to make an escape. Luckily Phyllis, John, and Anna had all heard the crash as well as Isis' barks and had come running. Joe only had to struggle to keep the woman down a moment before John was there to help him stand her up with her arms behind her back. Anna and Phyllis made quick work of untying the man and helping him up.

"He's alright." Anna looked back to John with a nod, and they all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Thomas recovered enough that Anna and Phyllis were able to manage helping him get downstairs, while John and Joe struggled to keep the woman in line. She muttered words of frustration and most of them were rather colorful.

"You have quite the vocabulary for a lady." John teased as she tried to jerk away from him unsuccessfully.

When they finally made it down to the servant's hall, Phyllis made sure Thomas was settled before heading back upstairs to wake up Mrs. Hughes and call the police. Anna managed to clean him up a bit.

"How are you feeling?" she asked gently. She could tell he wanted to spit out a sarcastic remark, but her eyes were too genuine so he just shrugged instead. "Do you know that woman? Can you tell me who she is?"

Thomas nodded yes, but was unable to speak after being gagged for so long. Anna handed him a glass of water and told him not to worry. She was pretty sure she knew anyway.

Mrs. Hughes was down to the servant's hall in a flash, along with the butler, Mr. Carson. As soon as she walked into the office where Joe and John were standing guard over the culprit, Mrs. Hughes gasped.

"Edna!" The housekeeper walked up towards the woman who was sitting in the chair with a look of disdain on her face. "You wicked, vile creature. How could you?"

"How could I? How could you lot fire me? Thomas was supposed to have my back, but even he abandoned me in the end. You all did!" Edna spat at the housekeeper.

Anna and Thomas had made their way to the door to listen in, and Thomas finally found his voice.

"I did nothing to you Edna, you did it all to yourself." He said hoarsely.

"You could have protected me. Made it all go away somehow, but you didn't. You didn't care..none of you did. So I decided to make the Crawley's life a living hell. Stealing their things, making them think their beloved house was haunted. And my last piece of business was getting my revenge against you."

The woman obviously had some issues. Her anger seemed to be severely misplaced, and she certainly had an odd way of getting retribution.

It was then that the police arrived, and John and Joe stepped back to allow them to do their work. John couldn't resist one last jab at this woman as the cops moved her out the door.

"Sorry about your failed attempt at retaliation, ma'am, better luck next time." He made a motion as if tipping his hat and the woman sneered at him.

"I would have gotten away with it if wasn't for you meddling kids! And that stupid dog!"

John laughed, "Oh I assure you miss, I am no kid. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"John, you shouldn't tease like that." He looked down to see his wife looking up at him with amusement.

"Now where's the fun in that?" He chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her. They turned and made their way back towards the office.

"Thank you so much, all of you for your hard work in finding Thomas and catching Edna." Mrs. Hughes smiled kindly.

"Of course," Anna said as she smiled back at Thomas who was being looked at by the doctor.

"It was our pleasure," Phyllis added. "We're glad Thomas is safe."

"Now if you'll excuse us I believe we're all going to call it a night." John said.

"I know I'm beat." Joe added in with a sigh. "And hungry. Solving crimes builds up an appetite."

"You're always hungry," Phyllis noted. "Come on, I'll make you a sandwich before we head up to bed," she added. Phyllis laughed when Isis nudged her hand. "Don't you worry girl, we'll get something for you too."

* * *

><p>The group made it to the base of the stairs that would separate them for the night.<p>

"Well team, great work tonight! Another mystery solved." John grinned widely at all of them. "Hats off to Joe for stumbling upon our kidnapper and finding the hostage."

They all patted Joe on the back as he flushed scarlet. Phyllis seemed to give him a lingering glance which caused Anna to look up at her husband with a smirk.

They all bid their goodnights, and John and Anna exchanged a few good night kisses before separating, albeit reluctantly.

"On to the next one!" John called out from the men's staircase, and the halls of Downton filled with the laughter...and a bark...of the best crime solving team in Yorkshire.


End file.
